I’ve been living my life in a complete haze of negativity and emptiness. I have no idea who I am as a person. I have no idea of anything I like, love or want. I don’t have a passion for anything. I need to find these things out. I need to live. I want to live.
Everything that I do on here will be a challenge to me. Growing is a challenge. It may hurt for a little bit. It may cause me to end up at a completely different place then I thought I would be. It may make me stronger or notice more faults that I need to work on. At least I’ll be moving and living.
The first attribute that I need to work on in my my constant negativity. I need to be more positive. I need to be more optimistic. The first steps I need to take should be to make a positive environment for myself.
A list of things to make my own positive environment:
- Completely clean my space
- Get in the habit of making the bed
- Declutter my space
- Let more light in
- Be comfortable with the leaving the door open
- Let more fresh air in
- Unpack anything from my boxes that I’m keeping (unless I plan on moving)
- Cleansing my space (even though it may be ridiculous sounding, I’ve never tried it and it may help)
- Fresh cut or planted flowers and other plants
- Have a great smelling space; buy oils, incense, candles, or wall plugs
I now believe and have been told in the past that meditation would help me be more self-aware and allow me to be more mindful. It’s not that I didn’t listen before. I definitely tried it. However, I have a long standing problem of sticking to things. This time I need it to stick. So, for the next 90 days, including today, I plan to meditate for a minimum of 5 minutes per day. Hopefully, I will be successful. This will be my first activity I will try and complete.
I want a life where I’m happy. I want a life that I feel like I’m living. I want a life where I’m conscious of my well being in every way. Being a better person is the best thing I can think of for my life and the people in it. Improving my self-awareness and reducing my negativity will make a great start to this journey of growth. This is my foundation.